Monday July 28
A year ago it was Gloucestershire but today I got out of bed very excited to be going on tour with Mill Hill Village for the first time on foreign soil. It is our first step towards global domination of this great sport! I spent most of the morning busy polishing my passport, as I don’t get out much.

Our 13 tourists were arriving in Amsterdam before me, arriving by car and plane.

I got the Eurostar by myself at 6pm , and got to Amsterdam station at 11.30pm, missing out on the earlier team bonding session at an Italian restaurant earlier.

With a few helpful WhatsApps, I found the gang safely inside a lovely bar, with no intention of being in a fit state for our first game tomorrow.

I arrived at Café van Beeren, and the whole gang was there, apart from young Sid, who must have been doing interval training in his hotel room.

Two hours later, we were still in Warmoesstraat, one of the city’s oldest streets, trying out our third bar, with some local delicacies being tried out by some of us.

Tuesday July 29
MATCH DAY!

We had to leave the hotel by 10.15am as were travelling to Utrecht. Obviously, we left later than that!. Eight of us were on public transport, Pryank and Smudge were in the van we had hired and drove to Utrecht, and the tour virgins drove in their own car.

Aryan made the mistake of asking if we were travelling on public transport in our whites. A unanimous YES came back on the group, so Syd, Jkay, and Aryan were soon walking down Amsterdam hight street in full cricket gear, a sight to behold.

We all met at the beautiful SV Kampong Cricket Club, where we were playing the famous touring side the Zamigos CC. We were given a lovely welcome, and straightaway I got the feeling it was going to be a great game.

There are two pitches there, and the other game involved Abingdon Cricket Club from Oxfordshire. We batted first, and the innings was highlighted by JT’s magnificent 51 not out. He’s got to go up the order for the 1s on a Saturday… Obviously, in typical Village fashion , JT batted 11 for the other two games of the tour! More on that later.

We had a magnificent tea, and then it was our turn to field. I had my first bowl for two years and we all had our first look at Bushan and Ikram, who are going great guns in our new Sunday 1st XI team, with ball in hand. We weren’t disappointed with some very disciplined medium pace bowling. So much so that the Zamigos still needed 30 runs off the last two overs to beat us.

No chance we all said. Bring on Smudger we said.

OK, said Loz, the captain for the day.

Six balls later, they need eight to win off the last over! To be fair to Smudger it was probably his first bowl in about three years, but it really was a diabolical over!

Anyway, while we were all on the floor in hysterics, Ikram sorted things out in the last over, and Mill Hill Village remained unbeaten overseas with a narrow two-run victory. We’ll probably never lose abroad, we thought. Hi-jinks in the bar afterwards, and a magnificent curry, when Aryan stole all the chicken bits. They really were fantastic hosts. We British really could learn from our Dutch friends’ hospitality.

Then began the ordeal for some of our older players. On Tuesday, Piers, Loz, Smudger, and JT were in the back of a van with no lights to drive back to Amsterdam, with Joe feigning a fear of small spaces, and Zaf promising to take his turn.

Eight of us in a cocktail bar at 2.30am where Ikram and Piers went for the Pina Coladas. Yum yum.

Wednesday July 30
Game today is in Amsterdam, so a lie-in is allowed.

We arrived at the magnificent VRA club, the national ground for the Netherlands, where England once plundered 498-4 in an ODI record in 2022. We were very privileged to be allowed to play on such a ground. Probably only bettered by us playing at Lord's on our 150th anniversary in 2018.

Again we had such a magnificent welcome from everybody, and soon we were underway, again us batting first with Loz’s double-headed coin toss!

No one got to the heights of JT’s 50 the previous day (probably because JT was batting 11), but Piers top scored with a huge 27.

A brilliant tea soon followed, and then the instructions went out to go and field and not let Smudger or Piers bowl at all.

Sanchit brought along his friend from Amsterdam, who very nicely offered to field to give some of us old boys five overs off from time to time. Joe wanted to go to the Johan Cruyff Museum, but we wouldn’t let him.

We did drop a few catches unfortunately, but as it was day 2 of tour, so that’s understandable.

They did have one very good batsman (Thomas), and he turned the game, and they reached our score of 172 with a few overs to spare. But by now we were all concentrating on how good dinner would be , and we weren’t disappointed.

We took lots of silly pictures creating lovely memories, and we left about 10pm, as we had an appointment with Damm Square!

We started to have silly drinks around midnight, and JayK put on WhatsApp that he and Aryan were in a bar round the corner with “pool facilities.”

So we dropped everything, and rushed to the bar in our Speedos, and Jayk gave me my Pool cue.

Killer pool for the next hour or so, with Smokin Joe coming out on top. He informed us that on the following day, Thursday, he would be going to the Cruyff museum. I immediately started to issue yellow cards for him.

In an Irish bar we a huge discussion on eating healthily, and Zaf informed us that he only ate meat. Ikram asked him what he had for breakfast.

Zaf replied, “Two raw eggs.”

There were lots of brilliant quotes on tour, but that one gets my vote.

Thursday July 31
Last game of tour today, and we are off to the seaside, to the beautiful village-looking ground of Bloemendaal. We lost Pryank unfortunately, as he made his way back to London a day early to watch the Test match at the Oval. So Joe wasn’t allowed to visit Johan Cruyff.

Smudger took over driving duties, so only three of us in the back of the van today.

I was captain for the day, and immediately got stitched up (with hindsight) by Jente, Bloemendaal’s skipper, who said they were rubbish, and could we kindly declare at 175.
As I could hardly speak, I agreed to this and a time game. In effect, we scored 182-3 with Zaf playing on and Bushan missing a straight one. Everyone else got retired on 25, namely (from memory) Ikram, Loz, Aryan, Sid, Jayk.

We had tea at 4pm, and then went through the formality of winning the game.

Nope!

Jente had possibly been to all three of our games, and I think he had done his homework.
They got to 96/2 and it rained with a heavy shower for 20 minutes or so. So we all watched the cricket on the big screen. They had covers, but we all thought it was the end of the game. However, Jente had other ideas, and I was bullied into 16 more overs.

Aryan, Jayk and Sid bowled well and got a few wickets, but the ace up Bloemendaal’s sleeve in an under-19’s Italian international who came out to bat and battered us over midwicket on a regular basis. So my plan for the batters to have a bowl - namely myself, Smudger, Sanchit - didn’t come to pass.

It was looking like they would reach their target, but Bushan saved the day with some very tidy bowling, and they ended up 191, one run off their target. So technically it was a draw, but I like to think of it as a win as Jente had said at the rain break, we have 16 overs. But a draw is a nice result with such lovely hosts. The bar duly re-opened and we sunk a few pitchers of beer, and left about 10pm.

Our last night in Amsterdam left a few casualties behind. Loz was knackered and went to bed.
We had a few issues with taxis, so Joe valiantly said he wouldn’t go so that us other four could get a smaller taxi.

Aryan, Sid and Jayk couldn’t get a bus, so Piers, Smudger, Zaf and JT go in to Rembrandt Square and finally met Bushan and Ikram at about 1.30am! Sanchit was with his friend also.

Friday August 1
Joe didn’t get to the Cruyff museum and we all had flights/cars/trains home.

What a tour it was; who knows what 2026 will bring, but I would love to go back and play cricket against our Dutch friends as soon as possible.

Legendary 2025 Village tour squad
Smudger, Tour Manager and Dutch contact extraordinare
Pryank, Van manager
Sid, Youngest legend ever
Aryan, Worst spin bowler and best fast bowler on tour
Jayk, Fearsome bouncer bowler and football skills on a cricket pitch
Bushan, Tour virgin all rounder
Sanchit, another Tour virgin and cover drive specialist
Ikram , Last Tour Virgin and all-rounder, including specialist drops
JT, Specialist Number 11 bat and top scorer on tour
Zaf, Best wicketkeeper in the world and eats carnivorous eggs
Loz, Tour specialist, but doesn’t know where Mill Hill is
Joe, Pool champion but no Speedos please. Johan Cruyff t-shirt in post
Piers, President-elect elect but can’t set a field

Special guests
Sanchit’s friend - I’m really sorry, I have forgotten his name. He would be very welcome on our next tour.

Very special guests
All our Dutch friends who made us feel so very welcome. Please visit us at Mill Hill Village Sports Club soon!

Netherlands tour - in pictures